Hope
by Mercury's Winter
Summary: Challenge response. Set after Ouroboros. Gold Trance angst :)


Title: Hope  
Author: Mercury's Winter  
Archive: Ask please  
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters and make no profit from this story.  
Rating: PG  
Setting/Season: Late Season 2  
Spoilers: Ouroboros  
Warnings: None:  
Summary: Trance loses hope.  
A/N: Written for Asha Mackay at Exisle. She wanted Gold Trance stories, this is the best I could come up with on the spot :D

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Trance knelt on the grated floor of the Maru staring at the shattered remains of her treasured bonsai. So many parallels could be drawn from the jagged pieces of pottery to the ragged threads of her life. She reached out and touched a delicate sliver of the aged tree's trunk. It's beautifully entwined branches now twisted in hideous mockery of nature. Just like me Trance thought. She paused, her finger tracing the pattern of leaves that had fallen between the small squares on the deck, tears gathering in her eyes as she remembered a time that never happened.

Except it did happen, it happened to her. She lived the nightmare of the future, the years of grief and self loathing that failure after failure on her part had produced. No one but her remembered who lived, who died, or who even cared by the end. How could she change it. What was the path to the perfect possible future. It had all seemed so clear just a few hours ago. She had been planning this for a long time. Before she stepped through the tesseract field she knew exactly what had to be done. Her resolve was firm. But then she saw them. All of them...alive...fighting for their lives. She saw him and she coudn't go through with it. After years of careful consideration, she couldn't let him die. The instant she activated the tesseract device she saw the threads of possibility crumble only to reform to the future from whence she came.

Trance grabbed a large piece of the plant and threw it against the wall, an inhuman cry wrenching from her throat. She grabbed up more shards and hurled them at the bulkhead with all her strength, her eyes squeezed tight to hold in the tears that were aching to be released. Her lids were not strong enough to stem the tide however and Trance crumpled onto the floor and finally gave voice to her failure.

When tears no longer blurred her vision she noticed something poking from the debris strewn around her. She pushed herself to a seated position, her back against the cold metal wall of the Maru. She hesitated before touching the fragile looking object that looked so out of place amidst the black soil surrounding it. Scolding herself for being weak she grabbed at the artifact and studied it. It was a piece of cloth, a tiny piece of what she was certain was one of her younger self's shirts. She turned it over and saw a hastily scrawled message. "There is always hope."

Trances eyes widened. So there was a way. There had to be a future where they all survived to face and defeat the coming juggernaut, the cost of such a future high but one she knew now she was willing to pay. She had a job to do.

She heard the airlock swoosh open and quickly wiped the tears from her golden cheeks. Swiftly she began to sweep the soil and the tiny broken tree into a pile with her damp fingers.

She heard Beka's boot clang up behind her. She felt the blonde Captain kneel down next to her. "Dylan wants to talk to you."

Trance swallowed hard and nodded, not trusting her voice to speak.

She saw Beka's hands place a bin on the floor and begin scooping pieces of broken tree. Without looking at Trance Beka muttered. "Thank you for...you know. I don't know what I would have done."

Trance finally faced Beka, wondering if she'd heard correctly. Beka moved on to fishing pieces of broken pottery out of the mounds of soil. She glanced at Trance before turning her attention back to her chore. "I'm going to miss her you know."

Trance cast her eyes back down

"BUT" Beka pivoted until she was face to face with Trance. She gently cupped the Golden woman's cheek to emphasize her sincerity, "she couldn't save us. I think you can."

Trance bit her lip to keep it from trembling. She looked Beka in the eyes and felt her loyalty and love like a warm glow. Suddenly transposed over Beka's beautiful features was the picture of how Beka has looked to her only that morning. Determined that she would never see any of her friends suffer again she straightened her back and lifted her chin out of Beka's hands. "I have reason to hope."

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The end.


End file.
